No Need For A Melody

I guess you could say I have been known to watch a fair ammount of movies in my day. Popular culture teaches us that films are a great way to interpret and analize reality without even having to live those experiences in first person. Some may call this escapism. Blaise Pascal, XVII century philosopher, talked about "the vanity of divertisement", those out of consciousness activities we engage in in order to, as a matter of fact, avoid reality. It may sound harsh, but through out the years I have begun appreciating this theory. I always seem to relate specific times of my life to a song, a sound, a bit like as if I needed a soundtrack to my emotions, yes, like in a movie.
A couple fo days ago, my itunes random selection brought to my ears "Sometimes you can't make it on your own" by U2 - that song,man,it totally captured a specific time in my life and by simply hearing it I somehow re-lived the same emotions I felt back than...like in a flashback. All this brought me to think this may actually be the first time of my life when I feel lucid, when like a person who has been fasting for a long time you manage to see your self from the out side, like some sort of out of body experience and see yourself and you are exactly how you had always hoped you'd become. Imperfect, with a past filled with mistakes but true, honest, sharp, happy, with no need for a melody, maybe just a wee accompainment. Loving it.

Cultural Homologation

In the mid '90's (gee,I am officially old referring to my childhood as a decade!) Daniele Silvestri released a song entitled "Le cose che abbiamo in comune" - the things we have in common - in the video he is a radical-chic who sings about talking to a girl who is has everything in common with - from having two arms,two eyes,two legs and one brain to musical taste which would lead one to think at first "oh,how cute,he's found the gal of his dreams!" wrong. In fact, the video shows that the fashion forwardly dressed young man is not talking to a girl, but to the prototype woman he is constructing in his lab and brainwashing thus crafting her into being his perfect match. It's a clever song,with a super catchy tune to it but it also expresses the scary truth of our times about cultural homologation - we all want to be surrounded by our speculars,coz,let's face it, a lot of us are afraid of what's different. We all know the things we fear the most are the ones we do not know, or have a personal experience with. In this sense, knowledge is empowerment. However such longing to fit in out of fear of discovering what's alien from us can be our worst enemy. Often, Fabio Volo writes, a lot of people call "L.O.V.E" their desire to possess. We often keep loved ones as "status symbols", medals of honour more than enrichments to our life journeys, additions to our experiences, water that makes our already joy-filled cups overflow!
So if I can give us all a piece of advice today is "USE YOUR BRAIN!" Stop aspiring to be like someone you see on tv,but only be inspired to be the best you can be..find out what you are good at and excell at it,live life to the full and good things will come your way..better things than the ones you could have brought your way by your own knowledge of what was suitable for you!

Grace

I am beginning to embrace that it is a big part of the maturing process in one's life to be willing to admit the things we have always been too fearful or afraid to speak out loud before. Like my dream to become a paediatrician for fear of stepping into a clique.
When I was in my first year at uni I read a book that spoke to a book that spoke to me in a very profound way, "What's so amazing about grace?"by Philip Yancey. From that moment I dreamt that had I ever had a little girl I'd call her Grace,there I said it! "GRACE is receiving freely something we could have never done enough to earn". Over the past few months I have realized more than ever that I am at the receiving end of grace. I have so much,besides from the Grace of God alone who sent His son to die for me even though he knew I could have never repaid him. In the Sound of Music,Maria sings "Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good". I am not sure I have,Maria, but God's grace has blessed me and I am grateful.

Conquered with a smile

I love smiling. It keeps my mimic muscles fit and it helps me mantain a positive attitude to whatever I do in life. A few months back I was at a gig in a little pub near my house with my next door neighbour and a couple of collegues we were chatting and laughing when suddenly a handsome short brown hair-blue eyed young man in a tweeded brown jacket and jeans came towards me sporting the largest white smile I had ever seen, shook my hand and kissed me on the cheek (like as if he'd known me my whole life while in fact we had never met before). Then off he disappeared into the crowd. I didn't even know his name or where I knew him from, but that image stayed with me for days from then.
Exactly two months later, on St Patrick's day, the pub where I work to make ends meet was filled with people eating,drinking and having a good time. At one of the tables with a group of friends of mine was sat the very same boy I had seen at the concert to months before. He was very funny and joyous throughout the whole evening and we definitively made a connection. A few days later he got hold of my contacts and began calling me. We hit it off straight away. Within a week he had already given me a pretense "engagement ring"and had asked me out on a date. Everything from then on has been a constant and ever surprising discovery of each other. Whatever we have in common are mostly the things we both always thought, dreamed of, hoped for and never even verbalized out loud. Magic. And it all started with a charming smile..

..the homesickness of a childhood dream..

Life is a rough-edged thing..

..this is a line from a really beautiful song by an emerging indie local guy who used to attend the same lyceum as me. Giovanni Truppi, in my opinion, is an unassuming,rather talented musician-singer-songwriter. His music (guitarr-drums-winds) is surprisingly original and his lyrics are brilliantly introspective. As far as I know, he has been composing for a few years now, yet I first came across his music a couple of months ago at a local gig. It was a fun and inspirational experience. In the very same song where he states that "life is a rough-edged thing",he also asks the very profound question: "how long has it been since you last made a discovery?" - this line really spoke to me,and to this day I keep living by the principle that I want for each and every to be a discovery,maybe not, though hopefully yes,the cure for a neural disease, but more so a child-like excitement for one's emotional life, for the world around us and for the life we lead. today I want to break new grounds, make a discovery!

Butterflies

P retty much everybody who knows me is aware of my freaking phobia for any living creature, birds and pigeons especially, that has the ability to fly. I've often been told it is hilarious to watch me screem and fan my hands with no coordination whatsoever at the sight of a pigeon! Having said that I still hold a great deal of respect for God's creative talent and I must admit he did a pretty good job on the butterfly front. Colourful,graceful,wispy,beautiful. Just the other day one of them posed on my friend's shoulder for quite a while until we all notice it and she flew away flapping her wings rapidly into the air. It's been so long. So much time has passed and life has changed and it has changed me with it. It's still me,but different. Sometimes I feel like I have become a different person, but deep inside I haven't - I am just the grown up version (or I'd better say "the growing up" version) of myself. there is somebody I used to love very much,but now this has changed and I have become much less sensitive, yet much more sensible. I no longer hold any feelings at all for that person yet from time to time I am reminded that what I felt, what we had was not nothing - like what I feel now, but it was real,wonderful. The intimacy and understanding, the companionship, the critique, the dialogue, the arguments, the sharing,the jokes,the laughter,the tears,the challenges,the care. I wonder whether I am destined to ever feel butterflies in my stomach at somebody walking into a room, at the simple knowledge of someone being there...

The Present

I often get asked the same ol' question every Western girl gets asked around about their birthday.."so,any prince Charming in shiny armours on the horizon yet?" Now more than ever the answer is: "yes, plenty"..the point is that not because one thinks some one is nice, they should feel innately compelled to wanting more from them. I have been fighting for so long against conventionalism that I guess now it has become my natural way of thinking. I live a happy,full and delightful life. Perfect just the way it is. So why should I be wanting more?

It was my twenty-something birthday party a few days ago. Some of my best gals and some of my male pals had been invited. It was a fun evening. We ate and drunk and laughed and I got quite a few nice gifts. My ladies got me some lovely stuff from my favourite surfers' shop. Nice. My boys also got me some amazing stuff: some of my favourite music and books..which I already had. Don't get me wrong. I have been taught to be thankful for a present whenever you get one, and I do. Frankly, I thought their presents were kind and lovely. However this brought me to make some considerations. Wasn't it emblematic that the wonderful things my "potential-princes-charming" had provided for me where the things I already had? May be I may be accused of being cynical and cold-hearted, but why should I make sacrifices and compromise to get something I already have? Just think.